Nat’s Story

Growing up I was told that getting my period would mean I was a woman. 

My family told me. Friends told me. Media told me. My health teacher. It came from all directions, over many years.

When I got my period at 13, I mostly felt relieved that I wasn’t waiting any more. I was a woman. Like I was in some sort of club, albeit one that was so often relegated to secrets, shame, and discomfort. With relief came annoyance, bloodied sheets, and confusion.

I menstruated for a couple years before getting on birth control and later an IUD in my late teens so my period would stop. It was a hassle, it was messy, I was too forgetful to reliably track it and thus always caught unprepared. But birth control and IUDs didn’t feel right either. When I stopped taking them and my period returned in my early twenties I tried to embrace this monthly cycle. There’s a lot out there that’s focused on the divine feminine. The “period as womanhood”was reinforced as an adult trying to get in touch with my body.

Even though I began to question my gender, my period became kind of a sticking point. It was like one of those “if this, then that” math statements that you have to practice in high school. If I have my period, then I must be a woman. 

One day while driving with a friend, they challenged my belief that my period made me a woman. They pointed out that there are plenty of women who don’t or can’t bleed. And that there are plenty of folks who do bleed but aren’t women. I felt a little defensive... I accepted and celebrated this for other folks! But when it came to me, it was hard to release this fallacy...

It took time and effort from friends and myself to separate my gender from the cycles my body undergoes every month. As a non-binary person I’m learning that I can celebrate my cycles (or be extremely annoyed by them) without needing to claim womanhood. Having a period does not imply nor negate Womanhood. People of all genders menstruate. I think if we as a society come to recognize, and celebrate this fact, then we will be better able to fight for reproductive rights for all.

-Nat, they/them, 27